Our Souls Are The Same

By now, most of the world knows about the Trayvon Martin case here in Florida. As a white attorney, wife of a black man, and mother of a son the world considers black, I have felt almost every emotion possible related to the situation.

Many have asked my opinions on the situation because of my unique background. I have been reluctant to give it because there are so many things I still do not understand.

I want to believe we live in a world where race does not matter. Where my husband and son are treated just like any other human being. But Trayvon’s tragic death has rocked me. And then reading this article about how “Racist Hunger Games Fans Are Very Disappointed” turned my stomach again.

My husband and my son are the two most important things in the world to me, and I just don’t understand how someone might look at them and immediately perceive them as a threat or somehow value their lives less than someone whose skin is lighter.

I am thankful that we have had very few race-related incidents in our lives – other than some funny looks and some strange questions. When I’ve been alone with my son, people have asked me, “What is he?” and “Is he yours?” I let these things roll off my back because I understand that they are most likely asking out of curiosity - not malice or ill will.

I believe that much of prejudice is based in ignorance and fear. I hope that even through this blog of mine I can help dispel some misguided perceptions or misunderstandings. Because I can only hope that as the world sees more families like mine, we will start to understand that we’re not so different after all.

We all love, we all fear, we all have hopes and dreams. While our skin may be different, our souls are the same.

44 Comments

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44 Responses to Our Souls Are The Same

  1. I’m really glad that you were able to put your thoughts together about this, and also the pictures! You are a beautiful family, and I would hate to think that anyone would ever make anyone feel bad about who they love. My boyfriend is white, and were we to start a family I’d want us to be just like yours- sports obsessed, healthy and loving :)
    I was also really upset about the Hunger Games article…so sad that these are issues that we’re still dealing with.

    Thank you so much for sharing your opinion on the matter, it’s been a pleasure to read.

  2. Runmarun

    You have a beautiful family- thank you for sharing your thoughts. It is hard to believe we are in the twenty-first century and people ask you questions like that..

  3. The Mini Athlete is soooo cute! I know you will raise him to be a strong man/boy!

  4. That Hunger Games article made me sad, but it’s nothing compared to how I feel about the Martin case. Thank you for actually talking about it!

  5. Ash

    Heavy thoughts. I am both saddened and frightened for the comments collected in the article regarding Hunger Games. I wish I could say “shocked”, but it is a sad reality that I can not. Equally so for the circumstances surrounding Treyvon Martin. How do we end the hate?
    Thanks for posting!

  6. Taylor

    I just discovered your blog today and wanted to say that I admire your willingness to discuss such an important issue as race on your healthy living blog. The Trayvon Martin case is extremely disheartening and hopefully will open the eyes of people who think racial discrimination is completely an issue of the past; without acknowledging it we cannot work to move past these problems within society. Oh and by the way, your son is soo adorable!

  7. I hope that in my lifetime I get to see a complete shift in society when it comes to love and relationships. It still amazes me that we are so quick to judge people and their relationship choices. It’s 2012, yet race, gender and age are still factors in what society calls a “normal” relationship. Love is love, and after only reading your blog for a few weeks, I feel the love within your family, just from your posts. Kudos for writing this. It’s people like you that will stand up and help with this shift. :)

  8. Your family is beautiful!!!
    I was also shocked by that Hunger Games article! I couldn’t believe people would say things like that.

  9. I couldn’t have said this better myself.

  10. Thank you for posting this. It really makes me sad to think that people are still judged on the color of their skin. Both the article about the Hunger Games and the Martin case how much work there still is to do. I have always had a very diverse group of friends and it blows my mind that someone’s life is viewed as less meaningful because of the way they look.

    You do have a beautiful family and I know you will raise your son to be a good person and that is what really matters.

  11. Here here! You have a gorgeous family.

  12. gwyn

    “We all love, we all fear, we all have hopes and dreams. While our skin may be different, our souls are the same.”

    so well said callie

  13. The Hunger Games article made me sick to my stomach … as does this tragic case in Florida. Your family is beautiful and I wish we did live in a world where skin color didn’t matter. You wrote this eloquently Callie.

  14. Thank you for your sincere, beautiful words here. What a wonderful family you have! I love to keep up with you about your journeys as runner and mom and wife.

  15. Amazing post!! Beautiful and I hope more people read it!

  16. I don’t know why, but in some ways, the Hunger Games article makes me just as mad as the Trayvon Martin case. I think it’s because I like to think that the younger generation, the one who devoured the Hunger Games and loved little Rue, is better and more tolerant than the generation before them. It just confirms we still have a looooooong way to go.

  17. you and your family are stunning. i loved this post, callie, and thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings.

  18. Fantastic post Callie. Your son is beautiful and very cute. I thought I would go and read the Hunger Games article before I commented. I have not read the book or seen the film but they are on my to do list. This article made me so sad, in fact the whole thing, including the Tweets made me sad and sick to my stomach in equal measure. Are we still living in the dark ages? I live in a large town called Milton Keynes in the UK. Here, you can walk down any street and see people of all colours, nationalities and religions…truly multi-cutural. It is a wonderful place to live and to raise kids. I have never lived anywhere like it and I know for a fact that if you were to walk around in my town no one would see a ‘black man with a white woman pushing a black child’…they would see a beautiful little family going about their business. I am sorry to rant but Racism makes me so angry! Reading stuff like this Hunger Games article makes me realise how lucky I am…

  19. Charla

    Your son is absolutely adorable!!

    I have been extremely disheartened lately with the eruption of racism on the internet. I can’t even read articles on CNN.com or my local newspapers website without being bombarded with racist trolls. It can be a bit depressing. I was even starting to wonder if my good friends and respected coworkers could actually be racist trolls on the internet. Your article was very heartfelt and uplifting and you have a beautiful family. I will continue to believe that reason and basic human decency will prevail. However, I will also instruct my son to never wear a hoodie… or walk too fast… or get angry in public. I so desperately want to protect my sons from this madness.

  20. Beautiful post and omg is he adorable!

  21. Always the best insight Callie. Love sitting back and reading these posts.

  22. Callie – Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your beautiful family. I am saddened by these events. We too are raising our kids in a mixed race family (Chinese and White) and I think about these issues a lot. I so appreciate you Putting into words what I haven’t been able to. Thanks.

  23. Thanks for writing this. I think this is something so many of us don’t think about so it’s good to read from your perspective. Your son is just adorable, btw!

  24. Well said Callie! you and your family are beautiful and precious. It shows what a strong, understanding person you are that you let questions about your son (“is he yours?”) roll off your back like that. I’m sure it’d be easy to let it bother you and bring you down – kudos for your attitude!

  25. Haley

    Callie, you are a champion! Your family is beyond cute and I more than commend you for writing this post!

  26. This is such a great post Callie. I completely agree with you and your family is beautiful!!!!

  27. Your family is absolutely beautiful. Your baby boy is beautiful, your husband is handsome, and you are a beautiful lady, inside and out!!

  28. MizFit

    Beautiful. All of it.

    I’ve not yet read the hunger games article. I’m not sure I will. I’m all too aware how many small minded people there are in the world.

    xo

  29. OH MY GOSH. I just read that Hunger Games article you linked and I am APPALLED! I cannot believe people and am disgusted by those tweets they showed. Your family is gorgeous and I hope you never have to experience any of these evil people.

  30. This is a beautiful post. And it needed to be written. Your family is amazing and beautiful too. Thinking of you guys!!

  31. your family is beautiful. you all look so happy together and your son is freakin adorable :D this is a beautiful post. i’ve tried talking to a few people about the Trayvon Martin case and i honestly can’t because i get SO angry and fired up.

  32. Looooooved this post! I hadn’t seen that article about the Hunger Games but reading it actually made me a little sick.

  33. Meg

    Thank you for taking the time to post your thoughts on this. The Martin case and the Jezebel article have really taken a toll on my optimistic nature, but your perspective shows that while there is so much unwarranted cruelty in the world, people can still find the strength to be strong, happy, and dedicated to their beliefs. Fantastic post, Callie!

  34. I am white. My parents are white, and one of my sisters is white. However, when I was 13 my mother could not conceive again, and so my sister was adopted. She is black. She is beautiful and she was raised exactly the same way that I was. But the world sees her differently. I hope that someday that will change. Until then all I can do is love her and sit next to her at the movie Hunger Games and have people wonder………………………….

  35. Very nice post! People are awful :( hopefully in the future everyone can move past this and not judge based on race!

  36. Landi

    I was saddened by the Hunger Games issues too. It’s unbelievable that it is even an issue. I’m a firm believer that it doesn’t matter what race or religion you are, as long as you are a good person. I wish more people felt the same.

    Your family is beautiful. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  37. The people I fear the most in this world are not gun-owners or black men in hoodies, but those who assume a man’s guilt or innocence simply based on what they’ve heard in the media.

    The fact is, none of us have enough information to start forming opinions that inject racial prejudice & hatred into the conversation. I remember all too well when everyone was so sure of Richard Jewell’s guilt in the Atlanta Olympic bombing and the gross misconduct of the Duke Lacrosse case.

    My prayers are with Trayvon’s family as they deal with this horrific grief and with Mr. Zimmerman’s family as well. May our merciful God comfort both families and give us all the patience & wisdom to not make assumptions, judgments about this case.

    • That’s exactly why I have been hesitant to make any bold declarations about the case – there is so much unknown. I wasn’t going to post at all, but the article about the Hunger Games really gave me a heavy heart. Did you read the article? I have spent a lot of time thinking about Mr. Zimmerman’s family. If he is in fact innocent, he has every right to be just as angry as those rallying behind Trayvon. The justice system has not protected him from public scrutiny if he did in fact act in self defense. His life will never be the same. Unfortunately, only God knows what really happened on that night. I pray along with you that God bring comfort and peace to both families – and their community and ours.

  38. Megan

    This was so beautifully written. Thank you for sharing! I couldn’t agree more with the last two comments either. This whole situation breaks my heart… I feel incredibly sad for trayvon and his family. I also know the media isn’t always a teliae source, so it has been frustrating to see people jump to one side or the other of this case. What this case has made me feel (and the hunger games article really highlights) is disgust for the racism that still exists in our country. I am a young professional, white woman, who works with mostly black youth and hearing their perceptions on white people and the racism they still face is so frustrating. This is America and it is 2012… We should be so much better than this. We need to be so much better than this for our future.

  39. Megan

    *reliable… The iPhone wins again !

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