Avoiding The Comparison Trap

As a runner, as a blogger, as a mother…heck, as a woman…it’s easy to get caught up in the comparison trap.

I’m always comparing myself to women who run faster or run farther than me. As if somehow their accomplishments discredit mine.

As a blogger, I’m always comparing my “little” blog to other “bigger” blogs. I talked before about struggling with “imposter syndrome” around other bloggers.

As a mother, I’m always comparing myself and my baby to other moms and their babies. Their baby weighs this much – does my baby weigh enough? Their baby eats this – should my baby be eating that?

And then there is the “body after baby” comparisons. We look at celebrities who seemingly have their pre-baby body back about one week after giving birth. All I can say is that I am certain there is a LOT of Spanx involved in making them look that way! It’s just not reality. Trust me.

What is it about us a women that we can’t help but compare ourselves to others?

Even in the workplace – we compare ourselves to other women who are doing more, accomplishing more. We barely have time to put our makeup on in the morning after feeding the baby, yet we struggle with feeling like we don’t measure up.

And maybe we don’t.

And maybe…just maybe…it’s okay.

Maybe it’s enough to be ME. Maybe it’s enough to be YOU.

Ashley and Jen are fast runners. Lisa and Emily are great cooks. I am neither of those things.

I have loads of laundry that need to be done. There are dirty dishes sitting in my sink.

And you know what? It’s okay.

Today I am choosing to focus not on how I compare (or don’t measure up) to other women.

Today I am choosing to focus on being the best version of ME that I possibly can be.

Because if I can achieve that, there really is no comparison.


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31 Responses to Avoiding The Comparison Trap

  1. Great post, Callie. You are the best you and we are so glad you are! 😀

  2. You have no idea how much I needed this today. Great post. Always remember, there is someone (with their littler blog) out there looking up to you!

  3. Thank you for this post!!! I feel this way all the time about my SLOW pace and my dinky little blog. But you know what? My SLOW pace is faster than it was a couple of weeks ago and WAY faster than those who never even try.

    I needed to read this today. BTW, my laundry is piled up and there’s dishes in my sink too!

  4. Sarah

    I love your blog so much, it is so inspiring and I really like how you focus on topics such as this instead of “what I ate today” and “my workout today”. Keep doing what your doing, being you is what sets you apart from all the rest and is what is making your blog so appealing!

    • Thanks for your kind words! Just this morning I wondered if I don’t post enough of the “what I ate today” and “my workout today” posts. Thanks for the affirmation that I’m doing the right thing!

  5. Jane

    What’s the saying — Be all you can be!

  6. I LOVE this sentiment. Totally stealing it. And giving you credit. Well thought, Well stated and well lived!

  7. Jen

    Love this! I was always fairly good at not comparing myself to others, then I became a mom. I always feel like other moms are doing such a better job than I am, and their babies are happier, etc. But I realize I’m doing the best I can and that’s all the matters.

    Thanks for the shout out 🙂

  8. SO true!! In honor of your post – I’m taking the day off of comparing too. We’ve been TTC for 3.5 years and it’s sooo hard not to compare to others..

  9. I’ve been enjoying your blog! No need to compare! You got it girl!! 🙂

  10. This post speaks to me today. I have found myself comparing too much lately. I try to remind myself that we all have our “things”…we are all good at something and we all put effort into the things that are most important to us. Therefore, we must let those other things go, because you are right, “It is okay.” Also, remember it is all relative…your “little” blog is leaps and bounds bigger than my baby blog. But it’s mine and who I am (at least that is what I keep reminding myself!) Great post!

  11. love it x 1,00,000!! i am following you, because i think we need to be friends! we think alike!!

  12. Love these thoughts 🙂 Regarding your blog… you obviously have consistent readers, you are reaching us and sending good vibes! Everyone has to start somewhere (that’s what I tell myself)! And about running slow, remember “no matter how fast you’re going, you’re still lapping everyone on the couch” 😀

  13. Great post… I do all of that! And yes, I mean post-baby body. I know I didn’t do the same thing you (or my wife did), but men can gain some sympathy weight. And early on, dinners can be very time consuming which sometimes results in unhealthy eating habits. The good thing is that we are able to recognize when we “compare.” Stay positive and recognize all the accomplishments YOU have done.

  14. This is a great post! Thanks for sharing. 🙂

    I do fall into that trap. I used to compare my blog to the “bigger” blogs but then I realized that my story is different and my journey is way different than theirs and my story provides inspiration to people. I’m good with that.

  15. Absolutely right on! I hate the comparison stuff I do in my head. It’s so lame. LOL! I know I’m doing the best I can so why compare? Being the best of who you are is really what it’s all about.

  16. Hmmmm. Guess I should quit comparing myself to you then, huh? xoxo

  17. Ohhhhh momma, I hear you on this one!!! I used to (and still do on occasion) compare myself to other women. So much so that when my mom or my mother-in-law offered to help, I’d lash out and ask why they didn’t think I was doing something well enough.

    I’ve since embraced the help. Haha.

    But I do continue to compare myself to other bloggers and runners out there. I think we all strive to be bigger and better at what we do, but we need to remember, as you said, that we are okay where we are now. Eventually, with enough practice and enough time, who knows…we might fall into the “bigger blog” category or the “faster runner” group. 🙂

    But you’re absolutely right. It’s OKAY to be you. 🙂

  18. Love this post Callie. It’s so hard not to compare ourselves against others but you are so right. It’s totally OK to be you. If we were all the same, it’d be pretty boring, wouldn’t it? We each bring our own little something to our work, families, friends, community, etc. At the same time, I do think that it’s good to strive for something and get outside of our comfort zone which is (hopefully) generally more internally motivated vs. externally motivated.

  19. I’ve gotten pretty good about the body comparison and the mothering comparison, but I’m always comparing how much time other runners seem to have to train. I feel “guilty” that I don’t find that time in my life. I have to constantly remind myself that their goals are not my goals.

    Great post!

  20. Great post, Callie! I also have loads of laundry to do and a bunch of other stuff piling up. Like you, I have a hard time not comparing myself to other women. Lately I’ve been trying to do just what you said, know that I am enough and be the best me that I can be. I know that I am doing my absolute best for my family and for myself and if that’s at the sacrifice of laundry and dishes, I am okay with it.
    Thanks so much for the shout out–it means a lot me 🙂

  21. Thank you so much for sharing this! I am constantly feeling inadequate, but I really need to just focus on the being the best “me” that I can be.

  22. The comparison trap constantly traps me. Thanks for sharing this – it is definitely something I needed to hear.

  23. Thank you so much for this post. This is my first time reading your blog and it couldn’t have happened at a better time. Thank you, I am going to be a better version of myself, no one else.

  24. Jen

    As a new mom I am constantly filled with self doubt and compare myself constantly to other moms my friends and moms in magazines. This post spoke to me because I need to let it go. I am doin the very best I can for my baby and in my life. That’s all I can do. It needs to start being enough. Thank you!

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