I sat in the pediatrician’s waiting room, staring at the new patient form in front of me. I felt paralyzed – unsure of how to answer. Tears welled up in my eyes. I grew frustrated at my own confusion. How should I answer? This is the question that stared back at me.
Filling out forms like this for myself had always been easy. I simply checked the “White” or “Caucasian” box and moved on. Similarly, my husband always checked the “African American” or “Black” box without giving it too much thought. But as I looked at my young son, I found myself at a loss. Which box should I check?
He is not white. He is not black. But at the same time, he does not represent an “Other Race” as appeared to be my only other option. He is a mixture of two races, a beautiful combination of both his mother and his father. Where oh where was the box for “Multiracial”? Why couldn’t I “Check all that apply?”
In a world that is increasingly diverse, questions like this seem to divide us, rather than celebrating the diversity among us. The same good intentions that want to make sure we are serving diverse populations requires us to categorize ourselves. Divide ourselves. Classify ourselves into tiny boxes that don’t represent true diversity.
Admittedly, if I had been filling out this form for myself or my husband, I probably wouldn’t have given it a second thought. Depending on your racial identity, you might not either. But my son and daughter won’t be so lucky.
I have a feeling that the creator of this form never intended for the options they listed to cause a mother’s eyes to well up in tears. And that’s exactly why I wanted to blog about it. So many times we simply don’t realize the unintended consequences of our actions.
Perhaps the office where you work has a form similar to this one. Will you do me a favor? Will you make sure there is an option for “Multiracial?” Or at least an option to “Check all that apply”? I understand it may be difficult to quantify demographic information, but if our intention in gathering this information in the first place is to help ensure diversity, we must be careful not to cause more of a divide in the process. To require my children to categorize themselves as “white” or “black” when they are both and yet neither. To ask people to identify themselves as “Other Race” or “Other” –although it remains a mystery to me exactly what that means.
In case you’re wondering how I filled out that form, I’ll tell you. I checked both boxes – “Black” and “White”. Because that is what he is. And I hope he will someday feel pride in what that represents.
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Thank you for writing about this. As a multiracial person myself, I have always been so confused about filling out forms like these. As a child, I never knew what the right answer was and would fret over standardized tests because of this…but I do believe that more options are now available and even more will be available when your children are older. I frequently see that no answer is required or “two more races”, which is what I usually check. If that’s not’s available, I leave it blank.
I love this post. And I LOVE that you checked both.
One day, hopefully soon, these forms will be modernized across the board.
Your son is beautiful and he should always feel proud to proclaim his real self.
Beautiful thoughts, beautiful family, and you offer such a simple solution to the form issue. Why isn’t that standard?
I know exactly what you are feeling. I have the same problem/dilemma with my boys. Their daddy is Puerto Rican. Even though they don’t look Latino they kind of are.
Callie-I agree it should be changed but I do know where that list comes from. It is what is used by Medical Record Software companies who are certified for physicians. It is actually pulled directly from the Census website. I do know that the software company I work for allows multiple items to be checked.
I do medical research for a living and on our demographic sheet we have a “More than one race” box! Your son and all others who are doubly awesome are taken care of on this form! Everyone should have a box to check!
As someone who is biracial, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve hated filling out forms like this. I’m not black or white, I’m both, and it’s frustrating when I’m asked to choose one or the other. I love what you said about not creating a divide while trying to ensure diversity. I could go on and on, but I really loved this post!
It doesn’t say to check only one, so of course you should check all that apply. I looked at that form, because sometimes they will say, “Which race do you identify with?” and if you’re multicultural, you can choose to check one or as many as you like. I kind of like that, what do you think?
…I think it’s worded more like, “Which do you consider yourself?” — but hopefully you get my point.
nicely written, and nicely done. i would have done the same! good for you, and excellent point!
I can somewhat relate to where you’re coming from … my husband is biracial. I think there should be a “check all that apply” option. However, in a medical office a person’s ethnic background can actually say a lot about their medical history and predispositions for various illnesses, conditions, etc. Having a check all that apply option definitely still fulfills this purpose … probably even more so!
I am sorry you had a rough time. I hope to raise Emmalyne to be proud of her entire heritage … the caucasian and the Korean.
I agree with Madeline. In this situation (medical), it is helpful to know the background.
Also, from doing work that asks for people to identify by filling in – well, you can some quirky answers. We had someone write in “Texan”. Yes, seriously. Race? “Texan.”
I believe that these lists are created to try to offer the least amount of options possible to avoid getting complex or even philosophical responses – not to leave anyone out. But – I can understand your feelings of frustration too. Everyone is more than a checkbox.
I love it – Texan! Hilarious. I do think you’re right – especially in the medical context these answers can be very important! But yes, a simple instruction to “check all that apply” might have relieved some of the panic I felt – and like Madeline said, might actually help since it would be most accurate!
Once again, Callie, you bring light and insight out of a seemingly mundane interaction. These boxes Always bother me, not because I’m as multiculturally blessed as your son, but simply because I never felt that ‘Caucasian’ fit me, either. I have dark hair and dark skin, and relate with a religion as ethnicity, and am often mistaken for every ethnicity under the sun, but my great-grandparents hailed from various eastern European countries, therefore, I’m ‘white’? Bizarre, but fine.
Nowadays, more and more families are looking like yours, and I hope that with such progress comes less reliance on such outdated demographic questions.
Check all that apply would be most favourable. From a medical stand point I can see why some of that ‘census’ information is helpful. Some ethnic backgrounds are more likely to have certain diseases or biologic sensitivities. For the purpose of treating individuals by the way their DNA might affect pathology then I completely support those questions.
I think checking both makes the most sense. Race is a social construct, but we’ve constructed it so thoroughly that there is real medical information in those boxes. Since your son is both, he has both medical histories, and the doctor should know about both.
Thank you so much for sharing this. We are in a world now where so few barriers exist, bureaucracies have struggled to keep up. And while they think it’s just a matter of missing a box on a form, you’ve brought heart to their oversight. So happy you did, and you handled the situation just right.
Here’s to breaking free from the boxes we’ve been placed in, be they metaphorical or on a form at the doctor’s office.
I think it’s great you’re bringing this topic up. Check boxes like this are hard for so many reasons. No one ever fits into all the boxes perfectly. Since that’s obviously not a computerized form, it would be nice if they just had lines after everything:
Name: ___________
Age: _____________
Race: ____________
Gender: __________
Relationship Status: _____
I think lines might make people think about how they view themselves more too instead of trying to conform to little boxes and feeling ostracized when they don’t.
this post made tears well up in MY eyes. Your son is lucky to have such amazing parents
<3
Callie – I what a insightful touching post!!! Good for you for checking both!!!
Better question might be why. Really I have wondered this before , why what difference does it make . Medically speaking yes the different cultures are prone to different problems, so We don’t ask people if they are Irish , German etc…. And if a doctor can’t tell the difference of black , white or Asian or Hispanic well do you really want to go to them??? So maybe We don’t really need this form maybe the doctor should take a fee extra minutes to know us By speaking with us and observing and making his notes ????
Good for you! Those are Federal requirements and do not account for multi-racial Americans. It doesn’t help meet the current interested criteria. So good for you! ; )
I have always had that problem. I am half hispanic/half white….but yet if I check hispanic I can’t check white….lol
My friend thinks its shaddy as he is white, but he is Finnish…he doesn’t consider himself race white!
I guess I will have that problem when me and my husband have a baby
But maybe, *maybe*, (maybe) , this form is required for medical reasons? You know, some conditions are actually linked to different ethnicities (like, Chron’s is found often amongst middle eastern jews; Factor V Leiden in European people, and so on)…so maybe knowing it from the start is useful? Don’t know, we actually don’t have this kind of questions here in Italy 
You, your husband and your son are adorable, by the way.
As a researcher who frequently works with demographic data, this type of information is helpful for a variety of things. This form was clearly just made by the doc office as it does not fit standard definitions of race or ethnicity. The Census does allow individuals to select Two or More Races as an option, although not many people do. I would love it if all forms were standardized with the Census options, since they are broad and have evolved over the years. I also must say that the form illustrates one of my pet peeves; Hispanic is an ethnicity NOT a race. Everyone has a race and an ethnicity. Someone can be white-hispanic, black-hispanic, asian-hispanic, white-non-hispanic, and so on. Ok, I’ll get off my soap box now
I am Indian American and I pick other, I guess I could be considered Asian?
While I understand that there are some genetic predispositions, honestly I feel that the whole question is irrelevant in the context in which it is given. Most doctors don’t even look at the initial form – it’s office paperwork. If you are being evaluated or treated for something that has a racial predisposition, don’t you think they would either make observations or ask questions at that point? (I find it interesting to note from another comment that the question isn’t even asked in Europe, where you have even more cultural backgrounds & ethnicities represented!!)
I, for one, am more than tired of ‘race’ being an issue at all! We are all made in the image of God… let’s stop trying to divide and categorize everyone based on superficial means! (I’m all for dropping the question altogether!)
I go through the same thing with my nine year old son who is both Caucasian and African American. It’s confusing for him when he has to check boxes for things at school too. But none of us are all one race anymore….I don’t know why they don’t just take away the need for us to tell our race. Why does it matter?
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OMG! I have lived this my whole life. I am multi-racial being both Hawaiian(& other stuff too
and African American & it make me down right angry that they do not have a multiracial boxes on forms. I’ve seen more and more forms that do but they need to understand in our ever changing diverse world when people are filling out even a simple form it can bring about sadness sometimes & frustration at how insensitive other people/places can be. Your son is soooo BEAUTIFUL!! I’m all about representing for the multi-racial people out there LOL! My whole family is a makeup of different races & I would’ve have it any other way. Great post & thank you! 
Beautifully said! Thank you for deciding to share this and bring awareness!
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