I’m breaking up with my OB.
Yes, I’m 29 weeks pregnant and have decided to switch OB’s. But it’s not as crazy as it sounds.
In reality, I’m just returning to my “first love” – is it weird to refer to an OB that way? You might remember that I gave birth to the Mini Athlete in St. Petersburg, where we lived at the time. And I absolutely LOVED my entire birth experience. Yes, I had an epidural. Yes, I napped during active labor (from about 5cm to 8cm). And yes, I would love to have a repeat performance of that experience!
But more than anything, I loved the people who helped deliver the Mini Athlete. One of my childhood friends (since preschool!) is a nurse at the hospital where I delivered and came in on her day off to essentially be my private-duty nurse. (Spoiled much?)
And I cannot say enough good things about the OB who delivered the Mini Athlete. We actually went to church together when I lived in St. Pete and I have ABSOLUTE confidence in her abilities as a doctor. Why? Because she quite literally saved one of my best friend’s life during a very scary delivery. You can’t get a better referral than that!
When we moved to Venice, I started going to a new OB. I got a recommendation from a friend and I really wanted to like my new doctor. I really did. I really wanted to like the office. I really did.
But I didn’t.
I felt like a number. No one pronounced my name correctly. And then last Thursday, the proverbial straw broke the proverbial camel’s back.
I stepped on the scale as I am I asked to do at every doctor’s appointment. So far, I’ve gained about 16 lbs. I’m fairly certain that’s significantly less than I had gained at this point with my last pregnancy. I actually felt pretty good about the number I saw!
After waiting for my appointment for an hour, then sitting in the exam room for a while, my OB joined me. The first thing she says?
“Wow – you’ve gotten big!”
DUH. I’m pregnant. Thanks for noticing.
She looked at my chart.
“Hmm…you’ve gained a bit of weight – but nothing alarming.”
THEN WHY DID YOU SAY ANYTHING???
She measured my belly. “Hmm…I guess you’re not TOO big…”
She spent about 90 seconds in the room with me, listened to the baby’s heartbeat, and sent me on my way. But the damage was done.
Maybe I had an extra dose of pregnancy hormones. Maybe my old self-image issues were kicking in. But suddenly I felt extremely self-conscious. Frustrated. Out of sorts. Uncomfortable.
From the very beginning, my husband has told me that he would support me going back to my OB in St Pete. Yes, the hospital is an hour away – but depending on traffic, my hospital here could take 45 minutes or so to reach.
There are so many advantages to the hospital in St Pete. It’s state-of-the-art. My friend Mandy works as a nurse there. All Children’s Hospital is literally an elevator ride away should something scary happen. And best of all, my OB will be there.
Have you ever made a decision where you just knew it was the right thing? That’s how I felt as soon as I called to set up my next appointment with my OB in St Pete. I felt at peace. Comfortable. I’m actually looking forward to giving birth again!
Who knows how it will all actually happen, but I feel much more comfortable knowing where I’ll be. I kept trying to downplay it in my mind – telling myself “It’s not a big deal” if I don’t feel comfortable with my new OB.
Umm…yes it is.
Bringing a child into the world is one of the biggest events in a woman’s life. It seems a little trivial that some insensitive comments about my weight would be the trigger to help me make the decision to go back, but I’m glad it happened.
Sometimes you just have to go with your gut. Even if that gut is looking a little large these days.