It’s 8:30pm. I’m sitting on my couch, seriously contemplating getting up to get some ice cream.
I haven’t worked out since Saturday.
Somehow, breastfeeding and chasing a toddler (combined with some stress and long days at work) has left my clothes fitting better than they have in a while. Despite my nightly ice cream habit. And lack of exercise.
It’s funny that for so long I struggled with calling myself a runner – despite the fact that I ran 3-4 times a week, up to 13 miles at a time.
And yet now, when I run once every three weeks (or maybe once a week if I’m lucky), I somehow still think of myself as a runner.
I still dream about races. I still sign up for them on a whim.
But my motivation to train has gone out the window. Heck, my motivation to run has gone out the window.
I’ve always been a morning runner, but getting two adults and two children out the door in the morning before work makes me feel like I simply don’t have time to run.
Do I actually have time? Probably. Do I have the motivation to make it happen? No.
Just being honest here.
My first post-second-pregnancy 5k is this Saturday and my only expectation for the race is to cross the finish line. Hopefully with a smile on my face.
Maybe doing a race is just what I need to help me catch the running bug again. Maybe it will help me “wanna” be a “wannabe athlete” again.
Here’s hoping!
Have you ever found yourself in a running funk? How did you push past it?
thewannabeathlete@gmail.com
I’ve been in a running funk since my half-marathon in November. I’m determined to get back into it though! I have a wedding in a month to get ready for!
I feel accomplished just getting myself out of bed and off to work… you sound like a super hero! Don’t sell yourself short, you’re a mama of 2 under 2 and you rock!
I think there are a couple ways to look at this?
My point of view for myself– i used to gonto the gym, inused to swim early in the morning & then because of gradschool stopped lap seiming and picked up road cycling-. It is always invigorating to feel the rush/pain/soreness = accomplishment.
But then cue having a baby. I scaled back. Then cue a colicky baby at that and i couldnt function. Inwas so exhausted all the time with just 1 kiddo!
Now we r pregnant with #2. And sleep is stil an issue w #1.
The way i look at it is, we go on bike rides as a family now (with #1 in a chariot). We play at the park w the ball, we take #1 to her pre ballet classes, swim lessons. We are still active.
I would LOVE to sign up for road cycling clubs or rides…. But fact of the matter is ME time has become more of a quiet reflective time doing things that i can do quietly. Call it meditation, read a book. But after talking all day to toddler, soon a baby- i relish peace and tranquility. When i ride/gym i hear an inner voice pushing myself and i dont feel that quietness that i really need to recharge myself.
So i know i have the self determination and motivation to exercise. Its just not happening right now. Maybe in 6 months i can really get back to kicking my ass- but my body is doing fine w the activities i am doing now cuz this is what my sense of inner peace needs right now.
I am totally satisfied with reading my kindle- (currently reading sonia sotomayors memoir “my beloved world”, followed by “buddhism for mothers of young children.”)
I really enjoy the bar method- so been doing the video workouts till i can get back in the studio. Road cycling out till after i recover from #2… And subsequent sleepless months. Ha.
I wonder if you feel the same way i do? Mothering young kids is HARD. Be kind to yourself. Find another temporary outlet.
I can relate. We have a 2.5 year old and 3 month old…it’s hard to find the time and I’m not back to work yet. I worked out other night at 9:30 just so I could get in a work out.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, you have a lot on your plate and as things get easier and your kids get bigger you’ll find a little more time for yourself to run….even if that means taking both of them out in a jogging stroller, plus you’ll be teaching the, the value of being active and their health.
Maybe try switching things up? I feel like a lot of runners get stuck in the idea of only running for fitness. I like to run, but I hit some serious slumps if I don’t mix things up. Right now I’m into jogging and cardio strength classes. I’m sure before too long, I’ll be back into yoga. Then biking- ha! I find that changing my exercise is the best way to keep me excited about doing it.
Good luck!
Of course, I only have one toddler, so I imagine 2 sweet kiddos doesn’t make things easier
I may not have babies, but I’m working full time, and taking two science classes (3 hours a night 4 nights a week) and what free time I have left goes to homework, studying, and spacing out on the couch. I read these blogs about running, and I want to get out there, but the couch seems to win.
I’m hoping eventually I’ll get bored of the couch and the pavement will win instead. Maybe once spring kicks in…
I think that trying to be an athlete while having two under 2, and working full-time is extremely hard. There are only so many hours in the day and right now you just don’t have the time (especially after reading your “my typical day” post).
I am definitely in the same kind of funk – but mostly due to winter weather more than anything. Once spring hits, me and toddler-boy will be heading out for more runs!
Don’t feel bad about not running as much. Once your children are a bit older you will have a bit more time and be able to run more often!
if you don’t want to do it, don’t force it. i had a baby last march, and ran a little starting in octoberish, then kind of stopped, and then started again around january because I liked it again. now I am enjoying it, but it’s only because the weather is nice. I am sure I’ll stop again when it gets too hot. Just do what sounds good and be happy you are doing something! And if chasing kids is enough, then leave it at that until you’re ready.
I still call myself a runner even though I haven’t run since October and won’t again until after baby (due in mid June). I needed time away (to let an injury heal), but I don’t think it makes me less of a runner – just a runner currently on hiatus. And I think the same applies for you. So you’re not running as much as you once were – so what? You’ll get back there, when the time is right for you. Great job with everything else you have going on!
honestly I can’t imagine, i think all of you mom’s who work and run are just amazing.
I understand completely. Running goes in phases for me, ebbs and flows. Even when I’m not running a lot or even at all I always think of myself as a runner because I know ill go back eventually. It’s hard with kids I’m expecting #2 in September and I’m nervous already what it will do to my running and exercising. I know at some point ill be back and I hold onto that.
Also thank you for still doing this blog despite being so busy because it gives me hope that I can do this 2 kids under 2 and still be me.